春蟬。

周末來臨前。到超市買了一大袋水果和乾糧準備迎接米雷。可惜事與願違（可以這麽說嗎）。淅瀝的雨聲只響了一天一夜便作罷。午後。太陽若無其事地出場。彷彿早晨那場雨只下在夢中。島國子民於是趕加班似的攜家帶眷出門戲耍。米雷真不可不說是善解人意的颱風。

而我知道自己與人群的格格不入。沒辦法參與這種必須與人摩肩接踵的約會。倒是想念起k城末日似的狂風暴雨。尤其一年將盡之時。老天像趕在年終之前把還沒下的雨下完好收工。日日傾盆。真正痛快淋漓。

四天不必上班。正常來説應該出去見識一下島國的夏天。可我一步也不想走出去。除了跟人吃過一次晚餐。其餘時間都窩在房裡。反正食物多得是。於是靜靜地讀小説。看完村上春樹看亦舒。有時丟下讀一半的小説打開電腦寫一些字。有時寫到一半又去吃點東西。東西吃一半又開始聼音樂。如此這般做些不着邊際的事時間竟然比平常更快過去。我不明白世上爲什麽有幾億人口不曉得如何打發時間或害怕獨處。

偶爾也看電視節目。然而這裡不管什麽節目。即使是新聞。都異常喧嚷。每個人都很用力生活。每個人都必須很大聲才能表達自己。一如此時窗外的蟬。夏天一到。牠們就別無選擇必須用盡全力鳴叫。

生而為蟬。就得履行一隻禪的命運。直至聲嘶力竭。

春蟬到死絲方盡。蠟炬成灰淚始干。

多麽傷感。

早過了傷春悲秋的年紀。我是真的懂得這句話。

隔壁房已有人搬進來。房門口排了長長一列鞋子。有女生的長統靴也有男生的帆布鞋。看來是一對情侶。我盡量不與他們碰面。我想他們也有同樣想法。所以至今彼此都不知道對方長得是圓是扁像外星人或食蟻獸。小説中到隔鄰去按門鈴借醬油彼此自然熟絡起來的情節寫來如此輕鬆。現實卻是舉步艱難。連最基本的社交都能免則免。這樣下去我可能很快連説話的能力都會失去吧。

可是那又如何呢。

反正。這世界並沒有認真聼過誰説話。

sound of silence

by Simon & Garfunkel

Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted in my brain
Still remains
Within the sound of silence

In restless dreams I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light
That split the night
And touched the sound of silence

And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices never share
And no one dared
Disturb the sound of silence

"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed
In the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, "The words of the prophets are written on the subway walls
And tenement halls"
And whispered in the sounds of silence